خرید کتاب Retroactive Jealousy, Making Sense of It: How to stop obsessing about your partner’s past

The key to unlocking the problem and being able to enjoy your relationships is to find a way to look beyond your jealousy and at the roots of the obsessional worries that lie behind it.

Retroactive jealousy obsessional compulsive disorder (RJ/OCD) feeds on the idea that your current partner has had better, more intimate, and more satisfying relationships with their previous partners than they are having with you. And that they might still be thinking about their previous partners.

Once the idea has taken hold, it can’t easily be shaken off. Instead, it gets stronger and stronger. The need to know everything about your partner and their previous partners increases. Who they slept with? What was it like? You feel a need to know everything, however damaging and unsettling it is to your own peace of mind.

The obsessional idea promises that if you find the answer to your questions, then that will be the end of it, but it isn’t. In fact, the more you ask and the more you find out, the more your questions multiply.

RJ/OCD is like an itch that can’t be scratched. Present relationships are soured as you look inward, away from the present and into the past.